VOICES (II)

By Frieda W. Landau

 

 

 


   Captain's personal log: 7 January 2260:

   I'm in love! Her name is White Star. What a magnificent ship she is. Lithe and sleek and beautiful. She's fast and maneuverable and well-armed. She outclasses and outguns anything in her size, and her speed and maneuverability will let her hold her own against the big boys. Susan teased me about the look on my face when I first saw the White Star.

   She said she's never seen such a look of pure lust outside of an adult vid. Let her tease. I don't care. The jump engines proved their worth the first time out. The ability to see what the instruments record will let me know firsthand what's going on and adjust my tactics faster. It's like having an extra weapon. What other marvels does she hold? I'd like to take a week off and just get to know her. What I could do with a fleet of White Stars!

   But it was still a close call. We don't know if the Shadow ship sent off a report before it was destroyed. The next time we may not be so lucky. The Rangers are not as secret as we had hoped. It is time to start thinking of bringing them out into the open. I would have liked more time to gather information and try to determine the strategy of the enemy. We cannot win against the Shadows alone. The League worlds would be valuable allies. Somehow we, Delenn and I, have to convince them to put aside their differences and unite with us. Can't they see the war will engulf us all?

   Oh, but the White Star performed superbly! Even Delenn was amazed, I think. She didn't believe we could defeat that Shadow ship. I wasn't sure myself, to be honest. That "bonehead" maneuver, as Susan called it, was one of desperation. When I asked Delenn if she was ready, she said, "No, but you may proceed anyway." Then she smiled and looked at me with such trust and confidence in my abilities; I knew we would succeed. With these two magnificent females on my side, how can I lose?

   Delenn mystifies me sometimes. Sometimes? Now there's an understatement. When Marcus told me about the problem at Zagros Seven and I said I would help, Delenn beamed with pride as if I'd done something remarkable. Doesn't she realize it is just part of my job? When I accepted co-command of the Rangers, I also accepted responsibility for them, including their safety. But I will admit it felt good to have her look at me that way.

   ...I feel a little guilty about leaving poor Mr. Endawi to the tender care of Michael Garibaldi... Endawi accepted the explanation for our absence. Actually, Delenn didn't give him a choice. I wouldn't want to contradict her either when she's in full ambassadorial mode. It's going to be hard to cover our tracks if EarthGov keeps sending these bureaucrats.

   I can't wait to take the White Star out again. Maybe I can talk Delenn into giving her a real shake-down cruise. I'm sure she'd also like to know exactly what the White Star is capable of doing.


   ...15 January 2260:

   I had that dream again. This time, I heard other voices arguing back and forth. I can almost recognize what they're saying. Almost, but not quite.

   The new security procedures are causing complaints. The Transport Pilots Association has asked for a meeting. Susan can arrange the details, but I'll have to be there. They insist on talking to me personally.


   ...20 January 2260:

   ...Ta'Lon arrived today. I'm a little surprised at his present position. I thought it more likely to see him as a member of the resistance. Nevertheless, I'm glad to see him. I should have taken his offer to be my bodyguard. I could have used him at the Transport Pilots meeting to protect me from Susan. She's still mad about my stunt with the PPG. I can't decide if she's upset because she thought the weapon was loaded and I could have been killed or because it wasn't.

   I have been receiving some very disturbing reports from Garibaldi. The Nightwatch personnel on station, including those in security, have been harassing some of the shopkeepers in the Zocalo. So far, there have been no serious disturbances, but the situation is getting ugly. Michael cannot dismiss Nightwatch personnel without due cause. All he can do is try to keep an eye on them and keep them off sensitive assignments, whenever possible.

   ...That damn probe bothers me. There's something about it. Why would a civilization that is willing to share advanced scientific and medical technology want to destroy less-advanced races?


   ...21 January 2260:

   I was right about that probe. I wonder how many races were destroyed by its creators? Of course, I was also right about the Transport Pilots meeting. No one left it happy.

   Ta'Lon has changed sides. I suspect he planned to join G'Kar all along and used the bodyguard assignment to get to the station without arousing suspicion. G'Kar is gaining a valuable ally.


   ...13 February 2260:

   ...I don't think I've ever had a more uncomfortable or embarrassing evening. I thought I'd never get that woman out of my quarters. Now if I can only get her off the station. From her reaction, I believe I'm the only male who ever said no to her. I wasn't even tempted to say yes. Which is very funny, considering how long it's been since I've been with a woman. Not since that one night stand during my last leave, which I don't even want to remember. And then, presto, I turn around and there's a naked woman in my quarters. Every soldier's dream! Except mine. All I saw was a political problem I didn't want to get entangled in. If it had been almost any other woman, I probably would have jumped at the chance. Well, maybe not. I'd probably feel guilty about Delenn. Even though there's nothing yet to feel guilty about. Darn it!

   We have given the record of Clark's involvement in the President's death to Hague's people. I can only hope it is the beginning of the end for Clark. All my energies must go toward the coming battle against the Shadows. Our forces are growing, but not fast enough or strong enough. Susan found only a single group of First Ones. They do not like the Vorlons. I am surprised that this fact does not surprise me.


   ...14 February 2260:

   ... Miss Musante has been recalled to Earth for damage control. I think the news that Clark is a murderer is more damage than she can handle.

   I had another episode of that weird, grey dream. I caught a glimpse of the ship I was on.

   It was a Minbari cruiser. Now I can make some sense of it. I must be dreaming of that ill-fated peace mission near the beginning of the Earth-Minbari War. But I still can't identify the others or figure out why Delenn is there.


   ...21 February 2260:

   Last week was Valentine's Day. Anna always loved it. No matter where we were, we always tried to get together on that day. I remember once we traveled forty-eight hours each way, Anna from a dig in Centauri space and me from Mars, to meet for a few hours.

   The last time we saw each other was Valentine's Day. I've always been very aware of that day. Until this year. How could I forget when it meant so much to her? What's wrong with me?

   I've accepted her death, yes. But that doesn't mean I should forget her and what we had together. Yet I've almost forgotten what she looked like the last time. Oh, I can visualize her from her last message to Liz, but not from life. I can't remember the feel of her in my arms or the taste of her. Why? What's wrong with me? She was my life, and now I can't even recall her face.


   ...1 March 2260:

   I thought once the news spread that Clark was involved in his predecessor's death, he would be forced to resign at the least. I realize now I was naive. Clark is cracking down hard on his enemies. And most people don't care. As long as their daily lives are unaffected, they pay no attention. No one seems to care that their rights are being curtailed, that EarthDome is abusing power, that they are heading for a dictatorship in all but name.

   What will happen here on the station, I do not know. I am determined to resist any encroachment by Clark. Nightwatch is becoming more troublesome. As Clark grows bolder, so do they. I cannot move against them without cause or due process, or I will be no better than Clark. Yet I must do something. Michael would like to fire them all and kick them off the station. He has my sympathies but not my approval.

   Delenn is off-station. I have not seen or spoken to her in a week. I miss her. I have grown accustomed to telling my troubles to her, knowing she would make me feel better.

   Even if we are never to be more than friends, I need her...


   ...19 March 2260:

   I have given orders to Commander Ivanova to destroy this and all other personal log entries if I do not return. The day has come I have long feared. In a little while, Delenn and I will take the White Star into Earth space, not as an ally, but as an adversary. We, I, cannot allow Clark to obtain Shadow technology. I hope we do not encounter any EarthForce ships. I do not want to fire on my comrades.


   ...21 March 2260:

   I froze. There is no other word for it. I could not fire on the Agamemnon. If Delenn had not been with me, I would be dead. At her urging, I was finally able to react to the danger. Next time, and there will, unfortunately, be a next time, I know that now. Next time, I will have to steel myself beforehand. I cannot endanger my crew again. They are my responsibility, and their welfare must come before my own feelings.

   The crew performed superbly. The Shadow ship was larger than the one we destroyed at Zagros Seven. Even insane, as Delenn called it, it was a formidable opponent. My crew did not flinch as we plunged down Jupiter's gravity well. They knew we might not survive, and they still obeyed my orders as if we were on a routine training flight. I want to decorate every one of them, but I don't think that would be prudent right now.

   ...Delenn gave me a gift like no other. The gift of sleep when I so desperately needed it. As long as I live, I will never forget that moment. She saw my fear and my vulnerability, and she reached out to me and kept me from falling into despair. I will never forget the tenderness in her voice when she made the rain, the gentleness of her touch. When she told me she would catch me if I should fall, I knew it was true. She is my anchor and my refuge.


   ...23 March 2260:

   ...I know now that Delenn cares for me, may even love me. I have waited so long to be sure. I must have been blind until now. The signs were there for me as early as last October. That time in the garden, when she placed her hand on mine, I felt its warmth and heard her breath shorten, as did my own. But I thought I was imagining things. I thought the hunger in her eyes was merely a reflection of my own. If my link had not sounded, I think, now, we would have embraced or, at least, brought our feelings out into the open.

   I still do not know what to say to her, or how to say it. How does one court a Minbari? Even if the Minbari would not mind being courted? And is this the time to say anything?

   We are on the verge of war. All our energies must go to that.


   ...25 March 2260:

   I thought that knowing how she felt would solve everything. I am more confused than ever. Does loving Delenn mean I am betraying Anna's memory? Why else would I find it so hard to picture Anna the last time we were together? My love for Anna is a part of me.

   It has shaped me as much or more than anything else in my past. But Anna and what we shared are a part of the past now. And Delenn is my future. Loving one cannot destroy the love I shared with the other. To believe otherwise is to despair of love altogether.


   ...26 March 2260:

   ...I dreamt of Anna last night. The first time in a long while. We were both very young and not yet married. I saw her so clearly in my dream, and when I woke up, I could still see her. I think I know now why I cannot picture her the last time. It was too near her death and triggers too many memories of the bad times afterward. I want to hold on to the good memories only. As long as I have those memories, I am not betraying her. Or am I just rationalizing?


   ...8 April 2260:

   Clark has declared martial law on Earth and all the colonies. I have been ordered to allow Nightwatch to control security. I must find a way around that order. I will not allow those fascist bullies to take over my station. I do not want to confront EarthDome and EarthForce directly. That was never my intention. But if I have to, I will, if there is no other way.

   Mars, I am sure, will disobey. The colonists there have always jealously guarded their rights and freedoms. I cannot see them meekly obeying Clark. Free Mars will gain a lot of new members. I do not know how the other colonies will respond. Proxima Three should be all right. Liz and her family should be safe, at least for the time being. I'm going to ask Delenn to make arrangements to bring them to Minbar or a Ranger base in case of trouble. I don't usually take advantage of my position for personal reasons, but for Liz, I'm willing to make an exception.

   I wish Delenn were here. She left for Minbar today. Something to do with her ambassadorial duties, I think. She's given Lennier full authority to act in her absence. Lennier made a point of telling me that he has been instructed to support whatever actions I may deem necessary for the safety and security of Babylon Five. Thank you, Delenn. The backing of the Minbari government is a valuable asset.

   ...Michael nearly started a riot in security when Nightwatch took over. After he calmed down, I asked him to meet with those who quit rather than serve under Nightwatch authority. If I have to confront the new order, I will need a force loyal to us. I can't use Rangers for obvious reasons...


   ...9 April 2260:

   I think I know how to get rid of Nightwatch legally, at least long enough to get them off the station. I'm going to need all the help I can get to do it though. Michael's people are too few. I have taken G'Kar's offer. He says his Narns will be able to handle security duties, even those involving Centauri, without problems. I believe him. Now, all we have to do is convince Zack Allan to work with us...


   ...10 April 2260:

   It worked. We were able to trap most of the Nightwatch personnel. Michael is processing them now and shipping them out. The Narns seem to be working out very well. Of course, this has only gained us a reprieve. We have only a very short time before EarthDome responds. I have placed all my people on an emergency alert status, as though we were preparing for battle. I am almost certain it will come to that. EarthDome will never condone my actions, and I will not allow Clark and Nightwatch to take over Babylon Five. Luckily, our defenses and weapons were upgraded last year. We will need everything we have, and more.

   For once, I'm glad Delenn is not here. I don't want her to get hurt, and I don't want to worry about her getting hurt. Still, I miss her very much...


   ...12 April 2260:

   You can feel the tension; it is a palpable, living thing. Everyone knows it is only a matter of time until Clark's forces arrive. And all we can do is wait. The bookmakers are taking bets on the station's survival, and my own. The odds on the station are two to one against. It's even money on me. I don't know whether to feel flattered...

   I would like to talk to Delenn. Talking to her always clarifies my own thinking, and I need clarity right now. I have not received any news from General Hague or his forces in over a week. I'm getting very worried...


   ...13 April 2260:

   Babylon Five is now an independent state. I really had no other choice. Clark's forces have started bombing Mars. We had to respond to this outrage. I will not, cannot, submit to Clark. I do not know how the station will react. Everyone is still more or less stunned by the events of the past week. My people seem to be holding up well. Morale appears high. None of the squadron commanders report any problems with personnel obeying orders. I have offered to allow anyone who wishes to leave to do so. I am proud to say that only one in Command and Control left. Overall, we have lost less than one percent of our people. How they will react when we are forced into battle with EarthForce, I cannot tell. I hope they will understand and respond. It will be civil war, which is always the hardest to fight. Both sides know each other. There is no nameless, faceless enemy to demonize, to make it easier to fight.

   The Alexander has arrived. General Hague is dead. Although I don't know Major Ryan personally, he seems a capable and good man. When he arrived, I had to cut off all outgoing communications, private and commercial, as well as military channels. There are still too many Nightwatch personnel who escaped our trap. I cannot risk a message getting through to Clark.

   The news from Captain Hiroshi is worse than we feared. EarthForce is less than half a day behind her. That does not give us much time to prepare. The entire Command Staff voted to fight. I'm not sure what I would have done if the vote was split, or worse, to surrender.

   I am revising my opinion of Draal. Delenn may be right about him. When I asked for his aid with a holographic system to announce our declaration of independence, his equipment was available almost before I finished asking. For all his bombast and blather, Draal does not hesitate to do what he promised.

   Still no word from Delenn. I am beginning to worry. I don't want her returning to the station in the middle of all this...


   ...14 April 2260:

   This was the worst day of my life and the best day of my life. As expected, we were attacked by an EarthForce fleet. There was no way to avoid fighting. We knew our lives were forfeit if we surrendered. EarthDome does not easily forgive treason, as they see it.

   The real question was did we have the right to risk the lives of a quarter of a million people. I think that all of us, Susan, Stephen, Michael, felt that we could not let Clark take over Babylon Five, no matter what happens to us.

   My people conducted themselves admirably. They never shot first. Susan was right; someone from Command Staff had to be with the squadrons. Her example was inspiring.

   I can't very well recommend her for a decoration from EarthForce, given the circumstances. I can and will put my personal commendation into her file. Someday, perhaps, it will do her some good. She was not badly hurt, fortunately. I have asked her to personally coordinate the integration of Captain Hiroshi's pilots into our forces. Michael's injuries will take longer to heal. I would like to give him some time off, but I need him more than ever now with all the security problems we face.

   The Narn bore the brunt of the fighting inside the station and took most of the casualties. Without their help, we would be in a far worse situation. Maintenance and Security are working round the clock to repair the damage and secure the station. We are safe for the time being, thanks to Delenn.

   Delenn. What can I say about her? We needed a miracle, and she provided one. Seeing her face on that screen and hearing her tell the attacking force to "be somewhere else" was indescribable. I felt such a mixture of love and pride and awe. It really was the finest single moment of my life. Standing there, side by side, our arms around each other, listening to the cheers of the crowd, I could believe that anything was possible.

   Funny, when I met Delenn at the docking bay, I would have sworn she seemed to hesitate, as though she wasn't sure of my reaction. She seemed shy, almost embarrassed when I told her what her act meant to me. Yet, when I kissed her hand, which I was afraid would embarrass or even offend her, her eyes were shining. I wish Susan hadn't interrupted us...

   We won this round. But I can't pretend it's over. Clark will be even more eager to bring me and Babylon Five down. And the Minbari can't protect us forever. Even if Delenn has the power to do so, I wouldn't want her to. And there is still the struggle against the Shadows. The future looks bleak.

   But I will not think of that now. The station is intact, and Delenn is back. Amazing how much pleasure just saying her name aloud gives me...


   ...15 April 2260:

   Cleanup and celebrations are still going on...

   I was thinking about Delenn, about what it must have cost her, what it will yet cost her. I have no idea, even now, of her true station on Minbar. It can't have been advanced by saving the station and me. Too many Minbari still hate Starkiller to willingly come to my rescue. Delenn knew this, and she still brought the fleet. I am afraid she may be right. Babylon Five is the only home she has now. If that's so, I will do everything I can to see she never regrets her actions.


   ...16 April 2260:

   I wore my EarthForce uniform today. I owed respect to those who died defending Babylon Five. I hope EarthDome doesn't jam the personal messages I sent to the families. They deserve to know their loved ones died bravely...

   I will not wear this uniform again until I can wear it on a free Earth.


   ...20 April 2260:

   The hooded figure in grey in my dream is Delenn. I know that now. Hearing the tone of command in her voice when she arrived with the cruisers brought it back to me. She was the one who spoke to me on that ship during the Minbari War. She was the one who ordered my release. Does she know? Probably not. I was probably just another faceless human to her. Not worth killing, maybe, but not worth bothering about either.

   I still don't know why I keep having this dream. I never saw the face of the Minbari leader, so I couldn't recognize Delenn when I met her on the station, even if she wasn't transformed. Did Delenn's voice trigger the dreams? Maybe.


   ...25 April 2260:

   Delenn has proposed a rebirth ceremony. I'm not sure what that is exactly, but it sounds like a good idea. Everyone could use some sort of break. The ceremony involves giving up something that's of value to you. You're also supposed to tell someone a secret you've never told anyone before. That part I'm not so sure about. It's one thing to give up something, a possession. But to reveal something you've kept hidden, for whatever reason, I don't know, you're leaving yourself wide open. I'll have to think about that part...

   Speaking of secrets, I've been wondering about Delenn. Just what is her position in the Minbari government? The fact that she was the one who gave the order for my release during the war implies she had a lot of authority. Was she one of their leaders, or was she on the level of, say, EarthDome's Secretary of State or Defense? And after the war, why did she take the position of ambassador on the station? Someone as highly placed as she must have been would need to have a very good reason to accept such a post. Or did she fall from favor with her government? And will she ever tell me, even if I ask her outright?

   And do I care, one way or another?


   ...29 April 2260:

   It's all my fault. I knew Nightwatch thugs were still on the station. I knew she would be a target. And I did nothing! Nothing! I should have at least increased security around her, even if she didn't want it.

   Stephen says she's in no danger. The knife didn't hit any vital organs, though she lost a lot of blood. He says she'll make a complete recovery. There might not even be a scar. I believe him. He wouldn't lie to me about her. But I see her lying there, so small and pale, hooked up to all those machines and I fear the worst. Lennier and I have been taking turns sitting by her side. Stephen finally threw us both out. Lennier, I think, is still outside the door. I have been given medical orders to get some sleep. Stephen will not let me near her or Medlab for at least six hours. Nevertheless, I've given orders to be notified as soon as Delenn is awake. I have to see for myself that she's all right.

   I didn't kill him. I wanted to; oh how I wanted to. I knew, though, that I couldn't. If I did, I'd be no better than he is. That's the last of the organized Nightwatch gang, I think.

   Any that are still left are too disorganized and too demoralized to pose much of a threat. Michael's people should be able to handle them without too much trouble.

   Delenn. She has to be all right! Why did she run between me and the knife? Her shout alerted me. I had enough time to duck and fire. Does she hold her life so lightly? Or does she hold mine so highly? It doesn't matter. I have to make her understand she can never do anything like that again. I will not allow her to trade her life for mine.


   ...1 May 2260:

   I finally told Delenn how I feel about her, sort of. I didn't actually tell her I've fallen in love with her. I told her I couldn't imagine my world without her in it. And though I didn't know how or when it happened, I was glad it did. She didn't say anything. I don't know if her silence was part of the ritual. I think she understood. She squeezed my hand and smiled. I guess I was a little afraid to tell her outright. What if I'm wrong about her feelings for me?

   I wonder what the others told her? And what her secret was, and who she told it to? I'll probably never know. The new uniforms Delenn had made for the Command Staff are very striking. No one will ever mistake us for any part of EarthForce. Delenn, or whoever designed them, has a fine sense of irony: the Army of Light in black and grey uniforms. I approve. It's a visible reminder that there is both dark and light in all of us. We should not assume we have all the right on our side.

   Delenn will be released from Medlab in two days if she promises not to exert herself and take it easy. I'm sure Lennier will see that she follows doctor's orders. Perhaps, I'll ask her to compile a report or something that will keep her occupied without overtaxing her. Maybe something to do with the status of the trade missions...


   ...10 May 2260:

   Clark will not move against us while Minbari cruisers surround the station, which cannot continue indefinitely. It is time to ask the League worlds to help provide protection for the station. I'm going to call a

   War Council meeting to discuss ways of getting the League to cooperate, and sever commercial and other treaties with EarthDome. I'm sure Delenn will have some ideas. Stephen says she can resume her normal activities. I'm not so sure. I still occasionally see her flinch when she turns too quickly or lifts her arms too high. It takes all my self-control to keep from rushing to her aid. She hates that sort of thing.


   ...20 May 2260:

   We're going to have to raise docking and other fees if Babylon Five is to survive. We will soon develop shortages of vital supplies, spare parts, that sort of thing. It will cost more now since everyone knows we can no longer rely on Earth to supply us. I would rather be prepared for problems now than be caught short later. I will also have to institute some sort of credits or other form of payment system for station personnel. I doubt EarthForce will continue to issue our paychecks.

   We also have to set up a procedure to collect rents and license fees from the various business interests who rent space. I'm sure some of them will take this opportunity to renegotiate. In fact, I will probably need a whole new department to handle all those kinds of chores EarthForce and EarthGov took care of for us. Independence requires a lot of maintenance!

   I think I'll talk to Delenn about all this. No matter her actual role in Minbari government, and even if she doesn't tell me, I know she's had more bureaucratic experience than me. If we can find the time. This last month has been very busy for both of us. We've barely seen each other since her recovery. And I've had no chance to be alone with her.


   ...25 May 2260:

   I overheard a disturbing conversation in the Zocalo today. Some people were discussing the events of the last few weeks when one of them asked if "Sheridan is any different from Clark. They've both become dictators."

   I thought about this all day. Am I any different from Clark now? Or do my actions make me no better than him? I've come to the conclusion that my actions and motivations do make me different. I don't think my reasoning is self-serving.

   Clark is a democratically elected president who abused the powers of his office and illegally used groups such as Nightwatch to consolidate his power and subvert the office.

   He declared martial law and now operates as a military dictator.

   My situation is different. Babylon Five was designed to be run by the military - EarthForce - under the command of a military governor. The civil liberties of the occupants are safeguarded, and there is an independent judiciary for all civilians, humans and aliens. It was my duty, as commander, to ensure the smooth running of the station and to protect and defend the occupants. I only had direct control over military personnel. This has not changed. The only difference is that now Babylon Five is an independent entity, separate from EarthForce and EarthDome oversight and control. I still respect and obey the civilian safeguards. I have not used the military forces on station to intimidate and control civilians. The judiciary is still independent. I do not censor or restrict communications, except in extreme military situations such as when the Alexander arrived.

   I have been scrupulous in observing the rights of all.


   ...10 June 2260:

   This is ridiculous! I've as much as told Delenn I love her, and she's indicated she at least cares for me deeply. And we've done nothing about it. We haven't even been able to snatch more than the occasional lunch together. This can't go on. The next relatively quiet day, I'm going to invite her to dinner in my quarters and take it from there. I'm not a great cook, but I can manage dinner, I'm sure. We deserve, no - dammit! - we need some private, personal time together...


   ...20 June, 2260:

   Delenn and I have been working on the framework for an agreement with the League states to protect the station. There are still a few things that have to be worked out. The hardest part will be figuring out a way to keep members of the League who are at odds with each other from trying to use the situation to their own advantage. Once we've dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's, we'll present it to the League. With a little luck - and a lot of arm twisting - we will have protection for the station that doesn't rely wholly on the Minbari. The more worlds that have a stake in the independence of Babylon Five, the more secure we will be. And, perhaps, we will have the nucleus of a united force to fight the Shadows. Susan, with her usual pessimism, says it won't work. That the League worlds are too busy with their own petty quarrels to work together. I think she's wrong.

   Speaking of Susan, I am starting to worry about her. She seems unfocused, distracted, just going through the motions. Not that it's affecting her work. Even though she seems to be operating on autopilot, she is still more competent than most. Should I ask her what is wrong? If it's something personal she doesn't want to talk about, I would be invading her privacy. But if it's something to do with her duties or the station, I'll have to insist she tell me. If I can just figure out which it is. Maybe

   I better wait a while, see if the problem - whatever it is - will resolve itself.

   ..2 July 2260:

   We seem to be going through a quiet period right now. I'm going to ask Delenn to have dinner with me in my quarters tomorrow. I've decided to make flarn for her. I've been meaning to try it, and how hard can it be to prepare anyway? I picked up the right kind of table in an antique shop in the Zocalo. I'll have to use my regular dishes though. I couldn't find any like Delenn used. Since it's not a ceremonial meal, it probably won't matter. I have a few bottles of that juice she likes so much and some sparkling non-alcoholic cider. I also got her favorite chocolate cake for dessert. I think that should do it.

   I can't believe how nervous I am. Delenn and I have had dinner before, but tomorrow night will be different. It will be our first real date. I just thought of something. Does she even know what a date is? Of course she knows. She's been around humans long enough to pick up a few facts of life by now.

   I don't really expect anything to happen, except, maybe, a good night kiss or two. Or, maybe a bit more. But not much more. I don't know what will please her or what will offend her - yet. I'd like to start finding out tomorrow night.


   ...3 July 2260:

   Delenn will be here in a little while. When I told her I wanted to see her tonight, she played with my words, the way she likes to do. I'm still not sure if she was teasing or really didn't know what I meant. But she accepted my invitation. Everything is ready. I just have to shower and change...and clean up the bathroom. I wouldn't want her to think I'm a slob. Maybe I'd better keep her out of the kitchen area...

 

*****

 

 

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